Improving Your Intimate Relationships

This Libra full moon illuminates our partnerships. Intimate relationships can be our greatest source of happiness or our greatest source of misery. There are few things that can teach you as much about yourself as being in a close relationship with another. Intimate relationships remind us of our deep capacity for love and there isn’t anything more beautiful than that. They also shine a light on all the wounds we didn’t realize we still had. Take some time this full moon to think about how you can improve your relationship and in turn your life.

• Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?

  • I ask myself this every time I’m in a conflict. We can always put on our lawyer hats and make a strong case for why our partner is wrong and we are right. But where does that get us? It makes both of us feel worse and we get nowhere. Ultimately, we all want to be heard, understood, valued and loved, so put your ego aside and prioritize your connection over the need to be right. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to see their hurt from their perspective.

• Respect differences in how you deal with conflict

  • Some people want to address things immediately while others need more time and space to process. It’s always good to take a bit of time apart when emotions are high, so you can come back together and have a more productive conversation. If you’re a person who needs significantly more space than your partner after a fight – let your partner know that you love them and you’ll be back – you just need more time to process. Without this reassurance, the other person may get so triggered by your need for space that there will be more conflict to deal with when you come back.

• Prioritize fun

  • Make time to connect with your partner everyday that has nothing to do with work or shared responsibilities where you can laugh and play with each other and remember why you fell in love. Every positive interaction you have with your partner builds up your emotional bank account and gives you something to draw from during more difficult times. Giving your partner your undivided attention and being genuinely curious and interested will make all the difference in your relationship.

• Prioritize intimacy

  • Intimacy is what differentiates your relationship from a friendship, and it should be something you make time for on a daily basis. Intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex – it can mean a long hug, kissing, cuddling on the couch, giving each other massages, holding hands, etc..

• Do your own work

  • We all have a past that impacts our present. Find meaningful ways to invest in yourself and your well-being and it will help your partnership thrive. Maybe that’s finding a good therapist, starting an exercise program, improving your diet, reading self-help books, journaling. Anything that helps you feel like the best version of yourself will improve your relationship as well. 

• Be thoughtful

  • Do unexpected things for your partner to let them know you are thinking of them and you care about them. Text them something you appreciate about them when you’re apart. Get up before them and make their coffee. Buy them a little gift that makes you think of them. Write them a nice card. Take an errand off their plate.